Once again.....

I keep starting this blog entry and erasing it. I don't know what to say. My life is pretty boring and it seems that I just ramble on about anything and everything and you can get lost in what I am talking about. I'll try not to do that but forgive me if I do. Lately I've been feeling like Mike has been withdrawn but I guess it could be me. He's been stressed about everything. The economy right now is making things difficult for everyone. I am so thankful that I have a job and it is secure. I guess they are talking about closing our floor during the summer because they are expecting the census to drop like it always does but I don't like that idea. I'll end up having to be in the float pool and go around from floor to floor. If the swine flu is as bad as they say it is we'll see what happens. Our floor has been pretty full lately which is a good thing we are trying to keep the census up. Tanner, my little brother, is graduating in a month which is exciting for everyone. My mom was saying that she couldn't wait for Tanner to graduate but now she is probably regretting those comments. He can be a little bastard but he loves everyone he just has a funny way of showing it. He's like my dad. It's funny because Tanner was always a mama's boy and is still to this day. He invites my mom to go with him to movies, ball games ect... I was a daddy's girl and am still to this day. I feel bad because I treated my parent's like crap when I was a teenager I was nasty to everyone and for that I am sorry. I am nervous for my little bro he is going to be going out into the world and it's a scary place right now. I don't want him to make the same mistakes I did. From the time I was 17 I moved out of my parent's house at least 8 to 9 times. And it was all over a boy that wasn't worth my time. Well I'll write more later I need to get my butt in bed and I am rambleing......

Update time I guess.....

I know I haven't updated lately I've been extremely busy and exhausted. I've been working every other day lately and it's just beating me up. Well lets see the boys got in trouble a few months back because they were writing bad words back and forth to each other on their nintendo DS and Preston decided to write some not so nice words on the neighbors electical box at their mother's house. I mean these are words that I could have been in really deep for saying and in fact I have been in really big trouble for saying them and I said them when I was 17. I guess when their mom was telling Mike what was going on she was dropping those words left and right and she wonders why they say those things and blames it on the videos games and on us. We don't talk like that in front of them. She says that they are learning morals and ethics at their house and they don't need to go to church which I think is a load of bull *obviously*. Well I could probably go on and on about what a piece of crap she is but I'll try to hold it back. Mike and I are doing alright. We both have been sick a lot lately. We don't know what is going on. If I'm not sick he's sick and vice versa. He had to go and get another MRI because now his leg is numb and that can be a number of things. It is either neurological or possible blood clot in my opinion. I just see them everyday the only thing is that his leg isn't warm like they get when you have a blood clot and it is painful. Work has been stressful and physically demanding lately. We have a way over weight patient that took 6 of us too turn them but they are getting better and we are hoping that we get to send her to a SNIF soon. I found out that one of our hospitalist passed away at 0200 this morning from a seizure they were only 38 years old. The Dr. aspirated during his seizure and they couldn't get him back. They had just had a new baby to which breaks my heart. I can't imagine what their family is going through right now. It also worries me because Mike has seizures and it is a very big wake up call on how serious they can be. I also had a patient yesturday and today that has MS and reminded me so much of my Granny. It was so hard for me. It brought back all the memories that I had of her. It's been 9 years since she passed and I still miss her. The way the patient acted and just his demenor. They were the nicest person but they were really had to understand. I was the only one that could understand them everyone came to me to see what they needed. All I know is it was really sad and hard for me. If I could stay the whole night and take care of them I would have but I have a husband now that I need to keep an eye on. I am just relieved that after nine years of her being gone that I can still look back and get weepy when I think about her. She was the most amazing person to me. She was always someone that I could talk to about anything. If I needed a shoulder to cry on and just a friend face she was there. I swear when she passed away I had a nice calm feeling come over me and I knew that she passed and I broke down. Well I can go on forever with this subject too so I am just going to say that I miss her and I don't think that will ever change until I see her again. Anyway work has been busy and stressful but it is awsome just knowing that we are helping people and seeing how much they appreciate it. Well this is all I am going to write bacause I will keep rambeling on and on. 

Family update

Mike and I have a new addition to our family. I would like you to meet Mimi Vella. She is a full breed boxer she's a black and white brindal but there isn't that many brown spots on her. She's around two or three and she is the best dog that I have ever owned. Don't get me wrong I love my bassett hound Lulu but she would drive my neighbors insane. We decided that we would get Lulu back when we move because she likes to hear her voice. Well Mimi doesn't bark at all I think that I've heard her make noise once. We are trying to fatten her up a little bit because she is a little skinny. She seems to like me better than Mike right now because I think that he made her made. He yelled at her because she tried to run away from him and he can't catch her if she does that. She loves kids and she loves being with people. She wears her heart on her tail she seriously never stops waging it. I was a little hesitant on getting another dog but I am glad we decided to get her. She is so sweet. I was depressed and sad and I know it's weird but I seem to be happier now. I love my life and I love my husband but Mimi has brought something into our family that I think we really needed. I don't feel the need to get frustrated and angry like I was doing before we got her. Well the whole court thing is over now. We only have to pay about $500.00 dollars a month and that includes health insurance. So out of pocket we are payin $300.00. I was relieved and have been sleeping much better now. Mike's been sick now for the past week or two and it is starting to worry me. Mike thinks that he may have had a seizure on Saturday because he's been sore and tired and he was acting really weird like he does after he's had a seizure. I am so happy that I have him in my life I just wish there was something that I could do for him I keep asking him what he needs me to do and he says nothing. He wouldn't even let me make him dinner tonight which is weird because he hardly ever turns down dinner. I am going to make dinner for him tomorrow though maybe when he's at work. Well that's it for now. I don't really have anything else to talk about.

Time for an update.....

Mike's court thing with the whole child support thing is tomorrow. I've seriously been frustrated about all of this for months. I am suprised that I don't have an ulcer from all of this. I don't know how she can ask for 1300 a month for two kids my dad's cousin doesn't even pay that for three kids. She told Mike that she didn't want me to go and I said too bad I am going. Plus Mike doesn't want to have to go and sit in a court room with her. She is seriously ridiculous. The sad thing is that Mike wants his kids more and she won't let him. She thinks she can still control him and she is trying to control me I think not I don't let people control me anymore. I was in a bad relationship on and off for 6 years and that is definately not going to happen with her. So there's really not much going on in the life of me. Work is the same except for Thursday. Thursday was seriously insane. It wasn't even the patients that were being the problem it was all the family members. I think that most of it was because there was a full moon. People say that they don't believe that but you should work in the healthcare field it's night and day when there's a full moon and when there's not one. Well I should get to bed so that I can get up and get ready for the whole court thing.

It's a new year ready or not

So it's a new year I can't say I was ready for it but who can really say that they are really ready for it. Time for new resolutions and new beginnings. Mike and I are disgussing what our resolutions are going to be but we have no idea yet. We'll see I guess. Mike has been acting really weird lately it's just when he sleeps though. I am thinking it is from his anti-siezure medication. I looked up the side effects and he has most of them. He has been getting sleep but I haven't because he can't keep his legs steal and he will moan and groan all night. Last night I had to go and sleep in the kids room because he just wouldn't stop. He is impossible to wake up. I keep telling he needs to go talk to his neurologist and he hasn't done that yet because he missed his last appointment and is worried that they are going to charge him for it but really who cares his health is more important. I heard from my grandparents and my grandma seems depressed. They are on their mission and are enjoying it, but it seems to me that they are having a hard time being away from the family during the holiday season. Everyone did what they could to keep them from thinking they missed anything down here. We sent the video and pictures of our family get together. She really liked that but my grandma cries about anything and everything. That's the one of things that make my grandma special. Then there's my grandpa he's a hard ass and isn't a city person and when they got their calling to Manhatten he didn't necessaryly like that but once he got there he started to like it. He's seen Mama Mia like 3 times and really liked it. Now my dad is making fun of him. Court in on the 12th of January and I really want it to just be over with because I hate not knowing the unknown. I just want to know how much we owe the fucking bitch and be done. Well those are my thoughts for now. It seems that I am running out of things to write about.

The life of a healthcare worker

There are those days that make you really sad and bummed out when you work in the healthcare field. So today I participated in my first code. Don't get me wrong I have seen people die plenty of times and most of the time they were DNR patients so we didn't have to start CPR and most of the time they come to us as comfort care patients which means most of the time they are non responsive but don't get me wrong there are those that aren't like that. Well anyway there was a patient that was up walking around and talking two days ago and seemed to be ok, than today that all changed when I heard the code bell start ringing and we had to start CPR. It was a good learning experience for me and what we needed to do in that situation. It is moments like that that make you realize how short life really is and how fast it can be over granded the patient was older and had some health issues. I feel for the family. The relative later told us that the patient was DNR and that it was in their living will but they didn't sign a DNR piece of paper so we had to do the CPR until we had that news. Lets see what else happened today, I had really heavy patients today 5 of which were pretty much total care patients and every single one of them needed cleaned up at six o'clock and I amazingly finished it and was out of there on time I was honestly in utter shock I was sure that I was going to leave late. One of my patient's family members offered me a part time job on the days that I don't work just so I could help her if she needs and she offered me more than I am getting paid now. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she needs any help and that I would come and help her even if that means coming and sitting with him if she has to go somewhere I am hoping she follows up with that offer because it sounded pretty good to me but then again if she is getting home healthcare from the hospital she may not need me we'll see how it all works out. Mike and I are doing ok. He wants me to quit my job and just find another one he doesn't like me working all the way in Scottsdale I told him that's not going to happen because I like only working 3 days a week so if I wanted to get another job I could. I think he just doesn't want me working two jobs but I want to just so we don't have to struggle so bad. Well these are my thoughts for today...

I can't sleep

I absolutely hate that I can't sleep on the days that I have to work. It's no fun. Well I got SPL'd yesturday and it was nice being home with my hubby. We haven't been together that much. He was off almost all week and my work schedule was all messed up and I didn't get to see him that much because I was working. Yes it's probably a good thing that I worked just because I am sure we would have found something to fight about but we are getting better at not fighting or at least I would like to think we are. I am so glad I have him in my life. He is the easiest person to get along with but at times he can be the most hard headed and two hard headed people aren't good because neither of us will budge when it comes to certain things and we have to agree to disagree. I did have to go into work for the last 4 hours of my scheduled shift and it seemed to fly by and be relatively easy I guess it's because I took over for two very reliable people that do their stuff like they are supposed to. I am going to talk to my manager tomorrow if he is there and see if I can cross train to be a HUC so I don't get sick of my job. I've been there a year and it seems to be getting the best of my sometimes. Well I guess I'll give it another shot at sleeping because I will be exhausted tomorrow if I don't